I Love YouTube: It's Katana Time

The katana: a weapon of ineffable beauty and sublime cruelty, too long forbidden and mysterious, made by stoic masters and wielded by cloistered honourable assassins wearing really wide pants. How can gaijin technology compete? Their blades slice our bullets as if our bullets were mere hunks of I don't know fruit shot from a fruit gun. We doze, while they work the forge and hammer the blade. The land of the rising sun lures us into docility with playstations and big televisions. We are prey. We are fat people that fart a lot and drink milk, gyrating in basements watching football while the Japanese Murder Clans train under the watchful eyes of Tough Senseis, working and reworking their technique. How to gut us. How to slice out our bowels and crap buckets.

Who will protect us.

We have one hope. The angry anime teens. Kids with the stones to rock a fedora and a dragon t. They're out there, in your town, with swords they bought on the internet. They are slicing the everloving shit out of some plastic pop bottles. They're training. It's an underground movement. Witness the birth of hope.

It's Katana Time.

This is KageNoAku, who enlists his mother and brother Tyler to document for us the moment a man is united with his weapon. He is worried that there is some stuff on it and his brother gets very angry at his mother for misidentifying some tape. KageNoAku is from Canada but speaks with an incredibly weird accent that I at first couldn't place but then I realized it's the accent of a dude who just got born out of the birth hole of Bladey Destiny or whatever

 

 

Welcome to the Cutting Club. Crazy Cole Rogers, Hyoujinsama, the sexy Midori Kurogami and Reggie. They get together every friday in an alley in Los Angeles and swing 'tana at rolled up mats and sure sometimes they screw up but the important thing is that they're trying. If a dude ever threatens them and stands stock-still with his eyes closed these cats would know what to do and almost be able to do it.

 

 

 

This old guy basically goes ape s**t on a bunch of bottles and will kill your ass if you even bother him or talk to him about France:

 

 

 

This cat is brave as hell and raw as puked sushi and has basically got both the dragon twister and the Pony Pounce on lock. You say Asperger's Syndrome and all I hear is mean-ass supersoldier of the future

 

 

Need the details of how to get started as a junior blademaster? Want to your very own self in your backyard run smack into the ugly place where fantasy meets fatass reality? Let's learn some techniques from Expert Village, most notably how to kill four dudes at once.

Although this might not be a good place to start, as youtube user SECmusic notes: "This Kid doesn't know how to properly use his Katana. He completely dishonors the spirit of the blade" while anskelus notes "he forgot to clean his sword of before sheathing lol horrible footwork too it would be like fighting a post with arms". Everyone's a critic.

Want to join the Anime Army? Buy your soulblade here