I have never hungered for a t-shirt so

Seriously it's a really cool shirt

Submitted by mike, 09/29/09 2:24 PM

I'm like 30 years old. I barbecue and watch a lot of movies and I save up my money to buy special cable packages that let me watch out-of-market hockey games, so that I can watch the first 13 or 14 minutes of Oilers games, enough to make me want to push my TV over. The last time I was in a cool bar I farted really loudly and I am positive the bartender heard. I am not what is the to say a man of "hip".

I've got friends though, you know, who hang on to the vestiges of early-mid-late 20's coolness, who know the thing with the right band and the bar and they got the Nike there with the dunk and sneakerfreaker so I'm not totally out of the loop. I'm no grandpa, you dig, I can hang, I know the "BAPE" and the "ice creams shoe", and the hat with the big gold sticker. I have absented myself in my dotage from the cool world, exempted myself from its strictures and have been enjoying the hell out of it. I buy clothes from the Gap and Levis jeans from the Bay. I don't want that cool guy stuff. 

Or, rather, I didn't. It seems BAPE, the semi-legendary Japanese niche boutique once-upon-a-time hyper-cool (??) clothing company has created the coolest bit of movie-merchandising tie-in stuff I've seen in a long time, t-shirts featuring cartoon versions of Hitoshi Matsumoto's nameless man-in-a-room-full-of-baby-angel-penises from his second film Shinboru (Symbol):

I loved the film (you can read my midnight madness review here) and I know I shouldn't be craving of an object like this, that that is low consumer behaviour, but god damn would I cold cruise Queen Street in that motherf***er all with my old man belly poking out and the teens having to avert their gaze from my hideous form. Unfortunately, they seem to be Japan-exclusive and are selling on eBay for over a hundred bucks which well, a hundred bucks buys some pretty spectacular barbecue accessories.

Decisions, decisions.