I Love YouTube: Miracles are all around me.

The proof of the sublime genius of the Insane Clown Posse's hilariously stupid video for their hilariously stupid song "Miracles" is that it's utterly impossible to satirize.

Do a little thought experiment, if you like. First, watch this video, knowing first that it is sincere, knowing first that these guys, Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J and their record label Psychopathic Records have sold millions of albums about violent clowns that murder people in some weird demon-related bloody giving-it-up to the Lord to millions of weird-looking middle Americans. Who identify themselves, a community united in fandom, as Juggalos. Watch it:

 

 

And now, having watched it, and heard them describe in awe their encounter with a hungry seagull, their utter helplessness in the face of the forces of electromagnetism and ask yourself: is there a single possible theoretical way that this could be funnier?

No, there isn't.

"Miracles" by the Insane Clown Posse is a perfect thing. Un-improvable on. SNL tries in vain to make it funnier:

 

 

See? Way less funny. It can't be made funnier, because it can't be made dumber than it already is, two fat millionaire grown white men rapping about how dirt is a miracle because scientists "get [them] pissed".

This phenomenon, the unsatirizability of Insane Clown Posse stuff, it isn't new. Witness this fan-made video for "Pass the Axe", by related Psychopathic Records act Dark Lotus:

 

Again, another perfect object, un-improvable on. These few midwestern Juggalettes coordinated across great distances to shoot, edit and post this video, to show their devotion to rapping murder clowns that love Jesus.

How did this happen? How did this get popular? What's with Faygo soda? Do I have to be from Kansas to understand? I must have to be from Kansas to understand. Perfect objects are rare to say the least: how many Mona Lisas are there? One. How many Great Pyramids? Three? Six? Not more than 10, anyway. Objects, songs, videos that cannot be made any better are being made, right now, and put on youtube, by grown men that rap, as rapping clowns, confused by volcanoes. Do you know how important that is? Do you know how beautiful everything becomes, in the glow of perfection? Miracles are all around.