I Love YouTube: Weightlifting Videos

A lot of people when first beholding me ask me how much I can bench, and I generally prefer not to say, because I generally don't consider it to be polite conversation. Let's just say that I was raised by feral tow-trucks and leave it at that.

I get it though, I do. We're human frickin' beans. We're constantly sizing each-other up while singing "anything you can do I can do better." And those that can't run fast or throw a ball find their own little niche, be it wall sitting, competitive eating or cup stacking.

When it comes right down to it, we're animals, and if you're playing by 'survival of the fittest' rules then bigger is waaaay better. This is why for centuries those among us who are bigger and stronger have always been desperate to show off their strength and push the limits of human physiology to the extreme by lifting really, really heavy things. Even if it means hurting ourselves in the process.

 

1008 lb Squat

(as seen on Digg) I am surprised that puking and passing out is ALL that happened to this poor guy (Editor's Note: He's talking about the guy peeing his pants, I checked).

 

Deadlift

I'm impressed with this competitor's focus... She powers through until the very end and only THEN does she seem to say "oh yeah, I guess I did puke a little, didn't I?" She also displays the mental strength to walk away and assume someone is going to clean up her puke.

 

500 lb Bench Press

Maybe the dude in the brown shirt shouldn't be so bossy and his friend wouldn't have gotten his thorax crunted by a giant cram bar.

 

Another Deadlift (with bonus fainting & face plant)

I get the desire to attempt this. I understand the primal screaming upon completion. But dude, maybe put some soft cushions around you just in case, you know? That's why I only fight Goro in Mortal Kombat sitting down with pillows everywhere, so that when I get the hypoxic death-claw faint-hands from overstimulation, I know I can crumple basically 360 and still be fine. That's just smart thinking.

 

Olympic Weightlifting

Remember what I said about human beings being animals?

 

No Really, Don't Try This At Home

That's all, folks!