I always liked the movies, but I was taught to love gambling.
Back in the day there was this guy, Nicky Papadigigiorgio, he was from up around where 7th crosses Grand Avenue and he'd come down and sit on Tony Aspinzato's stoop and drink beer in a bag with Tony Aspinzato. Tony gave us kids hell non-stop over nothing, we'd me and Bobby C or Bobby G or Dougie or Hoopy and Grease be cruising up and down the way or playing dice or throwin' rocks near a cat and Tony'd ride up on us quiet-like on his bike and kick Hoopy in the head or pour a 7-Up down the back of Peanut's pants and cruise off while we steamed, 'cause he was big and older, and not right since he legend tells got hit with a wrench in an altercation with a guy servicing a pinball machine at the gas station. He liked Nicky though 'cause Nicky was smart although I think everybody was probably smart to Tony who got hit in the head with a wrench so hard if you believe Cody who swears that he saw it that Tony's eye fell out and Tony forgot permanent how to work a key and lock so maybe Tony just liked Nicky's duck's ass hair-do, who knows.
I liked Nicky 'cause Nicky cooled Tony off and got him off our backs. He'd come down from the stoop and watch us play dice and it wasn't too long before he was shooting, too, with big wadded up piles of singles he'd heave out of his jacket and plunk down on the sidewalk, next to our pile of nickels. He taught me everything about action, the spread, the over/under, five card jammy, the parlay, the trifecta, the Cincinnati Slammer, the bluff, the brag and the come-hither. We went to Buffalo one time to watch a hockey game and Nicky and I went in a bar and they were having a wing eating contest, three great big fat greasy dudes and a mountain of chicken wings and 10 minutes and Nicky bet a thousand dollars on the wings and I said, "Nicky you can't bet on the wings the wings are food" and Nicky just shook his head and lost a thousand dollars.
Like I said, everybody's smart compared to a guy who got hit in the head with a pinball wrench.
Nicky taught me the love of my life: handicapping. How to look at odds and make the smart bet: not on who you want to win like some mug, but who's the smart bet. How to not be Nicky, basically. I don't gamble, anymore, not since I got put in the book for something I never did and got barred basically from the casinos of North America, so I handicap. If you wanna bet, I'll help, and trust me, you need it. Especially around the beginning of March. Oscars time. Pools. Big money.
Up until recent innovations in office pool technology, it was basically impossible to bet on the movies. In my 30 years as a degenerate under Nicky's tutelage, I bet on baby fights, which crocodile is going to bite a dangling turkey carcass, college football and School Board elections in Vermont and Mexico, but never the movies, not until recently. Not until the Oscar pool. You wanna win? You wanna win. Check back every day, 'cause I'm going to break this all down for you, the best Oscar odds handicapping on the internet.
This year is nasty. You've got Avatar which made all the money, from the cocky dude who made Titanic and then disappeared for ten years, and then you got a bunch of little movies that the critics liked that no real people really saw. You've got Q.T. with a weird war pic that didn't make dollar one. Crazy Heart? An Education? These flicks made less than half of what The Wrestler made, and last year that movie was considered an "underground" pick. This is a hard as hell year to pick. But we can do it, together. Nicky would have liked that (he got ate by a wolf in 1984, long story). So make sure you keep checking back 'n' watching the videos, capisce?
Like
Dislike
