Rajorajorajo | 17 Nov 2011 | 701 Views | 5 Likes | 0 Dislikes

I Love YouTube: Twilight Haters

I’m not gonna lie, I think the Twilight movies is poo-poo. I know that some of my colleagues here at thesubstream might wish bodily harm upon me for saying such a thing, but I will not be silenced; it’s a franchise of garbage movies based on garbage books and we as a species are dumber for having learned of Bella Swan and her diamond-encrusted boyfriend/overlord.

Scientifically speaking, the Twilight ‘saga’ was engineered to tap directly into the romance novel-reading gene of every walking cliché out there who pines for ‘true romance’ and ‘the warm embrace of an undead 17 yr-old hunk with perfect hair.’ Women young and old go gaga over these books and movies and sometimes that makes them impossible to talk to (do a Google image search of ‘Twilight Tattoo’). And the men that like them... well, to be perfectly honest, I haven’t met any (and I'm not making any sort of statement by saying so, it's just a fact). That might change after this new release 'cause I hear it's gonna be pretty spooky... Did you know that in this new movie a werewolf boy falls in love with a newborn satan-baby?

So yeah, thumbs down from me for Twilight. As it turns out however, I’m not the only one who feels disdain for this film series and the (mostly negative) impact it’s had on both everyone involved and society at large:

Kristen, interviewed by a moron:

I gotta say, I feel sorry for K Stew. It’s very clear that this very young, ambitious, wanting-to-be-taken-seriously actress was positively blind-sided by her sudden fame and fortune as a result of her involvement in a film where all she has to do is sigh a lot. Therefore, she spent the first year of Twilight mania acting weird and aloof in interviews (like any uncomfortable teenager would), and the second year explaining to everyone that she’s lightened up a bit, so get off her case. Who the hell is this interviewer???

Stephanie Meyer is crazy:

R. Pats says what everybody is thinking. Well, everybody who thinks that the ‘love story’ in Twilight is pretty fucked up, anyhow...

Robert Pattinson on franchises, publicity and his goddamn make-up:

Yes, he gets paid a shitload of money to be a puppet. But you gotta sympathize with this bro... And if he’s gonna wear stupid-looking make-up, at least have it not impede his ability to do his freakin’ job...

Gay or impotent?

These two get asked the dumbest questions imaginable. And they get asked them over and over and over and over and over...

Are they actually going through with this crazy birth scene?

This new instalment of the dreamy romance Twilight saga features a scene where a vampire gets a girl pregnant and then the baby starts eating through the placenta, only to have a grown werewolf fall in love with it. How in the fuck...

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