Teens 'n' Tweens: Glee on the Big Screen

Amanda, our resident teens 'n' tweens-beat blog queen is pretty much the best tween-beat blog queen around, in our opinion. She knows her stuff and deigns to help us out by letting us know who's got the sharpest abs or what person is went on five real dates with Bieber and what that furthermore means re: the eventuality of a Harry Potter remake starring Selena Gomez. Sometimes, though, we just make her go see the movies that we'd rather shoot ourselves in the head than go see, such as Glee 3D. Here's what she thought:

thesubstream: What movie did you see?

Amanda: GLEE 3D y’allllll!! Omg omg, so much singing. Right in your face dude! Super necessary, yep, totally need to make these guys more money.

tss: Stupid question, but... what was it about?

A: I guess like how how Glee CHANGED THE WORLD.  So many special snowflakes! Everyone is worthy and good at stuff that we should totally care about!

tss: It seems like you're being kind of sarcastic. What happens in the movie?

A: Ok here’s where it’s weird. There are interviews with the GLEE actors in character and they are all like “OMG NO WAY how exciting to get a world tour 'cause everyone loves us!! YESSS”. But um ok I actually watch the damn show and they ain’t winning shit! Much less a huge 3D tour.

But ok- So I pretend to believe (like I do for most of the show) that they are on the tour of their lives until-

SIDE STORIES! REAL LIVES AFFECTED!

Then they interview Real Americans about how the show impacted their life. There’s a little person who is also a cheer leader! She’s really awesome. There’s a boy that looks up to Kurt cause he is gay and his story totally did NOT make me cry ok?! Shut up. Shut right up.

So many good songs! I was really honestly holding back from clapping and singing along.



tss: OK, now I'm confused both by what this movie is and whether or not you're being snarky. What was the... point, or message of the movie?

A: I can be sarcastic all I want, and like... yes this whole thing is one giant money grab, but I really did come away thinking that people that loved the show felt more free to beeeeee... .

Which is really the best advertising campaign of all time. But for real. I was stonehearted for the first 20 mins until the whole thing just won me over. Who cares if it’s all fake?! These kids really are affected and feel good! That ain’t bad!! I cried some tears, I ain’t gonna lie!

tss: Hey... no judgment here. Did the Cast look totally hot?

A: Can I just sit down and talk a minute about Brittany doing “Slave (4u)”? Because HOLY HOT DAMN. That girl. Her dancing. I can’t even. She’s also the best character so whatever. Let’s just have a whole show about her.

I just saw the Actual Britney Spears perform that number and shit, retire my queen, Retire.

tss: Wow. High praise.

A: Yep. The boys were meh, Puckerman was kinda cute with “Fat Bottom Girls” but nothing major.

tss: What was the best part?

A: Any time that Santana, Brittany, Mercedes or THE WARBLER’S Y’ALL were on screen.

Darren Criss is just a freaking dreamboat on an ice cream Sunday with some sexy ass cherries on top.

I was just thrilled they didn’t make it the Rachel show…

tss: I just want you to know that 100% of that could be made up, you could be trying to make me look foolish, and I'd never know. I have no idea what you're talking about. What was the worst part?

A: That Kurt and Rachel didn’t sing “Defying Gravity”. Actually, just flat out NOT ENOUGH KURT!!

Though I maybe might have cried at his solo…. Maybe. When he sings “I Want To Hold Your Hand”, maybe I might have cried a lot. Just a little bit of a lot.

Also stop it Gwenyth Paltrow. Just kind of please stop it. Stop with anything you ever do ever on anything ever.

tss: Good policy. Is it good for teens and tweens out there to watch?

A: Heck yesssss! I was actually stopping myself from cheering out loud at some points! Special snowflakes FTW!!!! 

Ok- yeah it was kind of awkward watching all these amazing performers pretending to be someone else, it was at the end of the day- really really entertaining and I was actually sad when it was over.