Teens 'n' Tweens Heigl Special: One for the Money

Teens ‘n’ Tweens blog queen Amanda is the teen-beat tweet heat that can’t be beat, with all the hot opinion and raw diss on all the tweens ‘n’ teens movies every week! She’s also the person that we go make see movies that we don’t want to, like One for the Money, starring Katherine Heigl. Here’s what she thought.

thesubstream: What movie did you see?

Amanda: One for the Money, two for the… gun… show? I dunno man, there were guns and muscles, so that makes that a funny joke ok? Ok. Thanks.

tss: What?

A: Gun show. Like where you buy guns, and if you flex your biceps and say in a tough guy voice “Who wants two tickets… to the gun show?”

tss: Right, like you have guns under your skin that look like muscles.

A: Yes, so you can smuggle them in places. Exactly, Mike.

tss: What was the movie about?

A: Katherine Heigl is Stephanie Plum, a brand new lady bounty-hunter-crime-solver extraordinaire. She used to sell bras but now has a gun and stuff.

tss: What actually happens in the movie?

A: So Plum loses her job so then becomes a bounty hunter? Cause that’s a thing you can just become, and you can totally do it wearing pencil skirts and heels a lot of the time.

tss: You know your favourite movies of like… all time are about a teenage wizard that lives in a closet, right? And is best friends with a giant?

A: What’s your point?

tss: Nothing. Continue, please.

A: So her ex (does it count as an ex if you just banged one time when you were 17 and then you ran him over with your car?) skipped out on bond (I learned some lingo!) and if she can bring him in then she gets big buckaroos.

He’s a cop but maybe he murdered someone, and they sass talk a lot at each other and she has to help him prove his innocence I guess? That’s basically it. There are some funny hookers, and another handsome bounty hunter that helps her sometimes but… uh yeah. That’s what happens, a story we ain’t never heard before for sure right here. It’s different, cause she’s a lady you see.

tss: What was the message?

A: Uhhhhh- uhm, errrrr. I guess if you are bounty hunting a hot cop that basically solves the whole mystery for you- make sure [REDACTED]

tss: You can’t just spoil the end of the movie and say that was the message. Can I write that the message was “Girl, get paid”?

A: Sure, whatever.

tss: Did Katherine Heigl look totally hot?

A: Sure! Yeah she’s alright pretty much? Bad wig though. The dude who played the hot cop was pretty hot for an old scraggly looking dude…

tss: What was the best part?

A: Debbie Reynolds as a wacky grandma was funny kind of.

tss: What was the worst part?

A: Heigl’s terrrrrrible New Jersey accent, for one. Or just that like who cares? You know from the beginning he’s innocent, so oops who cares there. And then like, they angry-flirt with each other and he looks at her boobs a lot but that’s about it so, big deal? It was one of those movies where it just seemed like they were setting it up to make a hundred sequels so… just a lot of big whoop mostly.

tss: Is it good for teens and tweens out there to watch?

A: Gonna have to go with no. Stay home and tweet. Hashtag nothxheigl.

Amanda is our resident Teens 'n' Tweens expert. She recently had a look at the re-release of Beauty and the Beast and New Years Eve for us.