Teens 'n' Tweens: I Don't Know How She Does It

Teens 'n' Tweens-beat Blogger Queen Sister Amanda is back and we made her see a movie that we'd rather… not. 

thesubstream: What movie did you see?

Amanda: I Don’t Know How She Does It. Shoulda been called… wait for it…

tss: I'm ready. Give it to me. What should it've been called?

A: How about... No One Cares Lady, I Don’t Need To Know About Your Life Lady!

tss: God... damn… that's catchy as hell. What was it about?

A: Sarah Jessica Parker is a lady with a job, and kids, and a husband, and she does stuff. I dunno, like literally it’s like “Oh no! I forgot to pick the kids up from school!” Or, “I’m really successful at work and hooray but also I’m tired.” So just who even cares? I got my own shit to do SJP.

tss: Yeah like see her stupid movie! What else happens in the movie?

A: She throws her kid a party. She works hard and has a nice boss. Her husband is really understanding, but gets kinda annoyed at her sometimes.Her kids miss her. Other people talk shit about her for being perfect or whatever. SUPER exciting material, I tells ya. Lots of Funny Jokes to be made about all that stuff! (No funny jokes to be made about any of that stuff though at all really. I was being sarcastic.)



tss: What was the message?

A: Working Moms are like super-woman-wonder-ladies, and non-working moms are assholes on treadmills who say mean things and are useless. Work work work, but then make sure you also make time to make snowmen, ands mooch your husband sometimes. Perfecto Lifeo!

tss: Did anyone look totally hot?

A: Everyone was just too old. I guess Olivia Munn (SJP’s assistant) is supposed to be hot or whatever, but she was just a sneering asshole the whole time so I didn’t get it. And I guess Pierce Brosnan is aging… well? Christina Hendricks has boobs? Sure.

tss: What was the best part?

A: SJP gets lice? I guess that was a thing that happened. Little bit of wish fulfilment there I guess.

tss: What was the worst part?

A: SJP’s laugh is just about the worst sound I’ve ever heard. It's horrifying. Beyond that, it was basically one long episode of Sex and the City, minus the sex, the outfits, the funny friends, and anything that was ever edgy. Just so bore-horrible.

Like, I’m supposed to care that this really rich lady with a nanny and a nice husband and a house and all the shoes doesn’t know how to bake a pie?Cause that fully, really doesn’t matter to ANYONE. AT ALL.

tss: Is it good for teens and tweens out there to watch?

A: Negatory. The only lesson they’ll learn is that if you are a lady, you can get out of being late by talking about your lady parts to your dude boss. But they probably already know that tip from gym class.

Check back on Friday - we're making her go see the movie with the Lautner kid in it.