Teens 'n' Tweens: In Time

thesubstream: What movie did you see?

Amanda: In Time. AKA Occupy Swatch Street LOLL.

tss: What was it about?

A: Ummm  So ok, you turn 25 and then you get one year of time on your creepy computer arm to live.

tss: What?

A: You turn 25, and then you get one year of time on your creepy computer arm to live.

tss: Okeydoke. Gotcha.

A: Like instead of paycheques it’s time on your arm, there is no money. Money is time. Literally, it’s not like “time is money”, you know, it’s literally actually money, arm money, that you spend from your arm wallet. Also, you gotta fight to live second to second. Clock runs out, DEAD. There are Time Cops, that I guess try to stop people from handshakes. (That’s how you get/steal time? I dunno… handshakes have a lot of complications in this world…)



tss: What… happens in the movie?

A: JT plays a cool guy, and saves this other dude (who has 100 years of money time in his arm wallet) from getting robbed. Dude then tells him that the whole thing is unfair (LIKE DUH) and that - and I’m paraphrasing here - poor people die and rich people live. Cool new idea. Banks are bad. Something something about “for a few to be immortal, many must die”.

tss: Ok.

A: Ok so then the dude gives JT his hours and then JT’s on a Mission, somehow- to go f**k up them rich people. He goes and finds ‘em (though now Time Cop is on his tail) and then gambles a lot. Playing the richest dude ever, he bets his WHOLE LIFE (because that is a very smart thing to do) and then wins a thousand years. OH sh********t!

tss: Sh***********t!

A: The daughter of Mr. Monopoly likes him, and he kidnaps her, and then they go rob a bunch of time banks cause she has inside info and then they Robin Hood that stuff all over town.

Ummm… Then they do that a lot and people politely line up for the free time (as if) and uhhh I think that’s the end basically. Whatever actually happened in the movie doesn’t make sense so let’s pretend.

tss: What was the message?

A: WE ARE THE 99%! Money in the hands of old guys sucks for everyone else? Being poor is crappy as hell because you might die all the time, but also, being rich is really boring so that is the same thing. Definitely being bored is the same thing as almost dying everyday. Super good message, In Time.

tss: Did JT look totally hot?

A: Ehh. I guess? There were a few cool fighting scenes. But there were little to no abs or butts. So I’ma rate this a NO on the hot people scale. Even Amanda Seyfried looked crazy. Which is almost impossible. Fire whoever was the costume designer.

tss: What was the best part?

A: OMG JT and the girl stole a car that looked like a Karmann Ghia. So cool.

tss: What was the worst part?

A: They crashed the Ghia and survived w/o a scratch. Like the car rolled and rolled down the cliff and she was just like, cool run away in my stilettos!! NO. Or like any of the side stories…. There were just too many storylines happening and I cared about none of them.

tss: Is it good for teens and tweens out there to watch?

A: Meh? I guess? I bet the rich kids will like it.