The DVD/Blu Ray Shed: March 22

It's Triple Turdy Tuesday here on thesubstream in our special article where we talk about three horrible movies that came out today on Blu Ray! Yaaaaay!

Skyline (Dir. Brothers Strause)

So the Bros. Strause famously got threatened with a lawsuit by Sony Pictures, who were mad when they found out that the Bros. (whose company Hydraulx Filmz they had hired to do effects work on their upcoming aliens-invade L.A. movie Battle Los Angeles) was in FACT also working on the effects for their very OWN aliens-invade L.A. movie, Skyline, that would come out mere months before Battle L.A.! Except then it turned out that they didn't need to be mad because Skyline was somehow even worse than the really really bad Battle Los Angeles movie and infact, might even make it look good by comparison. Anyway Skyline is a really really bad move that you can rent now if you want, but don't. Seriously. 

Yogi Bear (Dir. Eric Brevig)

This movie stars Justin Timberlake and Dan Aykroyd and is dumb as baked shit. Not because it's a kid's movie about a CGI bear, but because it's a kid's movie about a CGI bear with a terrible script written with the idea that children are morons and their parents deserve to suffer for borning such dumb ass kids I guess

The Tourist (Dir. Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck)

This is meagre fare, like a pile of wet oats shitted out of a retarded animal onto a plate in front of a starving dude. Some parts are cool I guess but mostly it makes you want to die even as it nourishes you, you know? Super hot fake lookin' shellacked ass lookin' people havin' fun in a far off place that'll be underwater should you or I ever scrape the $$$ together to haul our fat carcasses over there… yum! Lemme eat that glop a.s.a.p.. Look at Johnny Depp's face on the cover of this DVD. Look at his hair. What the f**k